Joy

Noun: joy

A feeling of great pleasure and happiness.

It might be difficult to believe that you can feel this emotion at any time during The Cancer journey.

However, it does jump out and surprise you from time to time.  It is quite amazing how good looking at yourself in the mirror, wearing your new wig for the first time can make you feel.  Or how loved and appreciated your kids make you feel when they do stuff to help, which might be totally out of character, without being asked.

There will definitely be a joyful skip in your step when you walk out of the clinic after your final chemo, and wave goodbye to all of the wonderful staff.  On my last visit I took in a hamper of chocolates for them all to share, and told them that whilst I had grown really fond of them all, I hope that I never have to see any of them again.  I don’t think they took it too personally.

Friends and family members who you love, but because life gets in the way, you haven’t had contact with for years will suddenly be there.  And this makes you promise to yourself that you will see them more often, and not just at the next wedding or funeral.

Each horrible procedure that you have to endure will take you one step closer to the end of your treatment, and hopefully back to full health.  I know that there are many long term side effects following cancer treatment, and it may take years, if ever, you return to full health.  But having The Cancer really does make you appreciate being alive.

I recently read an article written by a breast cancer survivor, highlighting all of the difficulties that we have to endure after the end of treatment.  It was a fair summary, but it made me want to shake the author and shout ‘But you SURVIVED!  Do you know how many people don’t get to moan about shit because they are dead?!’

It is really easy sometimes to focus on the bad bits.  Of course there is a long road to recovery, and some of us might never be able to do the things that we used to.  But this is life.  We slow down as we get older.  Our bodies change in ways we don’t want them to.  We are more prone to aches and pains.  There are millions of people fighting millions of battles every day.  Take a look around you.  I bet there will be at least one thing that makes you smile.  Focus on that bit, and not on the fact that you have Mr. Potato Head for a boob.