Jokes

Noun plural noun: jokes

A thing that someone says to cause amusement or laughter, especially a story with a funny punchline.

How did the girl with really frizzy hair sort her tangles out?  She got cancer!

Having The Cancer is shit, and no laughing matter.  However, laughter is definitely one of the best medicines.  Obviously it can’t eat cancer cells and actually cure you, but it can make you feel so much better.

If you look for it, there is humour in almost every situation.  When I had my Big Awakes because of the steroid wasps in my brain I used to ping my friends and ask if they knew of any all-night raves I could go to.  They would lovingly remind me I was old, and bald, and had The Cancer, and no one would want me at a rave.

There are endless jokes to tell about a smooth lady-garden.  And even funnier stories to tell after your DIEP surgery, when your bikini line now comes up to your waist.

And, don’t get me started on wig jokes.  If there is one thing that universally funny it is a wig.  One night, after having been out with a friend and having one or two more proseccos than was good for me, I missed my stop on the train and spent £80 getting back from the end of the line in a taxi.  When I got home all the lights were out and the front door was locked.  Bloody brilliant.  In my slightly tipsy haze I thought ‘I know, I can crawl through the dog flap!’  I obviously thought I was being very discreet and quiet, but the commotion woke the dogs up, and my husband, who came downstairs to the sight of my head poking through the flap, huge Ridgeback licking my face, wig on at 45 degrees and shouting for someone to open the effin door.  He did eventually untangle me from the dog flap and let me in through the back door, but I had to wait a full 2 minutes before he stopped laughing.